F*ggot Food

It’s always interesting to discover a bizarre prejudice/ignorant belief that a co-worker is harboring. You know, the type of idea that when you ask how someone came to whatever conclusion that he or she made, the reasons are fascinating because of their sheer lunacy. And the older the person, the more bizarre. A homosexual resident offers me and another concierge some homemade cookies.

“I don’t eat faggot food. Ain’t touching that shit.”

“What??? What’s that and why?”

“Man, that faggot food. Motherfucker food made by motherfucking faggots.”

Upon hearing this, I was compelled to investigate deeper into the mystery of this so called “faggot food.” I mean does this guy really think something is going to happen if he eats food made by someone who’s gay. Let’s find out shall we?

“Really?? I mean, what’s going to happen if someone who’s gay offers you some food?”

“Man, you don’t know what those motherfuckers be putting in the food. Motherfuckers probably drugging the shit like Bill Cosby and waiting for you to fall asleep so they can put something in your ass.”


“You know, I mean, you could get AIDS from them motherfuckers. What if they cut their hands and start bleeding on the food? Those filthy faggots would still serve that AIDS laced shit to you, no problem.”

Amazing, hadn’t thought of that one.

“Plus you know, you can’t trust an ass pirate. How can you trust some dude that likes dick up his ass, you know? That’s why they use to have those public announcements back in the day to stay away from them. Fucking sausage worshippers staying up all night sucking and fucking each other off and you know those motherfuckers ain’t washing their hands. That’s why AIDS was killing them back in the day.”

This is some excellent stuff right here. Let’s keep prying.

“So, if a guy is gay and offers you food, that’s a no-no. How about a woman?”

“Yeah lesbos are alright. Those bitches just be dykeing and shit. You just got to hit them with the good dick that’s all. You know how bitches be when a man treats them wrong. But a man, hell fucking no! Fucking dick jockey would probably bust nuts on your shit and hand it to you.”

Note to self, Lesbians are okay because they be dykeing. Gotcha.

“Man, you really believe that?”

“Hell yeah, of course man, why you think all those faggot motherfuckers are appearing everywhere nowadays demanding special rights and shit? Motherfuckers trying to infect everyone with their faggotery and take over the world. But those son of bitches ain’t getting me. That’s why I don’t eat that shit. Can’t get me to join the darkside. ‘Exit only’ on my backside.”

I guess????